Sunday, December 30, 2012

Girl, Interrupted

Maybe this is a problem that goes with second marriages / relationships.

Why does Chuck act one way toward me when none of the kids is around; a different way when my kids are around; and yet another way when his AND my kids are around?

Or am I imagining it?

It would be easy to convince me that it's normal, once I finally acknowledge that it is actually happening.  I am just becoming aware of it, although it has been joggling the back of my mind for some time.    

Given that, do I say something, or just let it go?

Mostly, the problem is interrupting.  I tried three or four times to ask him a question and every time, he just plowed right over me.  So I waited and tried again.  And again. 

A few minuted later, I tried to ask him another question, and that time he interrupted me deliberately with a senseless respose.  He thinks it's witty.

He interrupts me a lot, and mostly I have learned not to mind.  I just wait and try again. Or wait until he realizes that he has interrupted and asks me to continue.  But it does wear at me.  And he does it most in front of his daughter.  Why?  Tonight I finally just wanted to shut down.  It gets tiring.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Thursday, December 27, 2012


When I was a little kid, my dad had a book that I loved.  We read it together; and I read it to myself many times.  It was about a family of seafarers and their mascot:  a gull carved out of ivory.  I was telling Chuck about this book the other night, because of its nautical theme. 

Plus, I was lonely for Dad.  I had heard "Joy to the World" on the radio earlier in the day. It made me think of how much Dad liked to sing the bass line in church every Christmas Eve.  I would sing,

"And heav'n and nature sing..." and he would get in there with "...heav'n and nature sing..."

At any rate, I admit it - I was in a reminiscing sort of mood.  Poor Chuck, having to listen to my stories.  But I digress.

Dad had a lot of interesting books, and Seabird was a favorite.

The summer before he died, I was visiting and I asked him if I could have it.  Lately, he and Mom had been giving away little things to kids who would take them.  About Seabird, though, he replied, "Not yet.  I'm not done with it, yet." 

Then he died and my brother cleared out all of his books.  In the aftermath of the funeral, the move and the rest of it, I didn't think of Seabird right away.  A couple of months later, I remembered and e-mailed my brother.  Did he have it?  Would he mind giving it to me? 

He didn't know what I was talking about.  He and Dad had not read that book together.  Would he look for it, please?  He was happy to look for it, but he warned me that he had already given away a bunch of Dad's books and had no recollection of this one.

I assumed that it was out of print.  When it arrived in the mail yesterday, via Amazon, I realized it wasn't.  Chuck called it a belated Christmas present.  

There it was, restored to me.  Just like the one I used to read with Dad.  Even the slipcover is the same. 

The artwork, each painting familiar to me, although I hadn't seen them in years.

All the clever margin sketches.

When you are able to hold in your hands a thing that you thought you would never see again, a rememberance of a person that you know you will never see again, it is overwhelming.  I started to cry.  Chuck must have gone online the very next morning, looking for it.

I can't think of a present that I have loved more, ever.  Or a person I have loved more, ever.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Love May Be Temporary...

...but herpes is forever.

I knew Chuck carried the virus - he gets an occational cold sore.  What I didn't know was that I could catch it even when he doesn't have an active sore.

Know what else I was unaware of?

That it would make me SICK, SICK, SICK!

High fever, swollen glands, sores everywhere.  My tongue?  My esophagus?  My gums?  All that, AND the places you usually think of when you think of when you think, "herpes". That's where I've been this last week.

Some bright spots:

I have lost 5 pounds!  During the holidays!  Wow!
The only thing I was capable of consuming for two days?  Egg nog!  Without guilt.
There are parts of my body that were not affected.  My brain is still OK.  I aso did not get eye herpes or fingertip herpes.  Yay, me!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

November Ends in Pictures

 Anybody out there into Couch Surfing?  We just joined.  It's a network of people who allow travelers to stay over at their houses, and stay with fellow couch surfers when they travel.  I thought it might be a fun way to meet people and travel on the cheap.

 Cranberry jalepeno salsa!

 Bought a bunhk of these and a couple of tacky grass skirts for a party tonight.

 His sign says, "No lies.  Want beer."
 This place in Sugar House will accept your old books and give you points for store credit.

 I have to figure out what to do about our broken camera.  Repair?  Replace?

 We cleaned out the storage  area under the north stairs at Guadalupe.  Loads of crap; but I have to admit that I lingered over this box of dolls for a little while. 
 And check out this werewolf mask!

 I wanted to do some data entry; but the Internet was being S-L-O-W again.
 I'll come in tomorrow and deal with all of this stuff.

 I don't have time for a shower before the party, but I do want to wash my hair.

 Chuck needs me to tweeze a metal splinter out of his thumb.

 Patty and I worked at Guadalupe together for 20 years.  She and her husband are moving to Hawaii.