Friday, November 9, 2012

Hillbilly Highlife, Episode One: Snow Comes to the Canyon

I was inspired to write this entry after ogling Yes, I admit it.  Don't worry:  I never follow any of her suggestions.  Well, OK, except for the one about organizing the bathroom cupboard with a wire pull-out. 

And a few crock pot recipes. 

She has a blog, in which she explains how things work in her world. I was dazzled by some of her winterizing techniques. Check this out. This is how she bundles up her collection of concrete garden urns for the winter.

Martha, I am impressed by  the...tautness of your burlap.  Thanks for recommending that we sew our burlap with a sail needle.  I am not surprised, of course, that you sew your own sails.   
Clearly, if I had taken your advice, the recent snowstorm in our part of the world would not have blown my blue tarp off.  When the storm lets up, I'll get back out there with the duct tape and make sure things are really battened down.
And, regardless of the size of her estate and the number of outbuildings included, I'll bet her garage does not have room for a dismantled barn and two cars in the midst of repairs.
I Googled "Martha Stewart snowplow", because I wanted to check out her blade.  Guess what, she has a dog named "Snowplow", but appears to be without a blade attachment of any kind.  Gotcha beat there, Babe.
We cannot compete with her wood pile.  Check it out!  A special, pre-made stacker, AND a nifty contraption that spaces the logs JUST SO, allowing for optimum air circulation
Ours suffered a slight mishap when the storm blew in, and has partially collapsed, burying the wheelbarrow.  However, we have a handy rack for holding mauls and wedges...

SO, Martha, what with your sail-making and all, I'm sure you must have had an episode devoted to winterizing your yacht.  I missed that one.  I thought I'd share the Brainerd-Diggins dry dock with our shared readership. 

One boat on either side of the driveway.  The canoe is not visible, tucked back behind the woodpile.  The raft frame is another matter.

I'll add a couple of other winter preparation tips, in case Martha didn't think of them. First of all, check on the condition of your snow blower.  Chuck found this little number by the side of the street during bulk trash pickup in the Avenues.  It started right up!  He got it home, and now it will NOT start right up, but Chuck will figure out the problem. That's Chuck's strong point:  my guy can fix anything.

Martha, don't forget to check on these two necessary features:  the fullness of your propane tank(good) and the fullness of your sewage holding tank (bad).

We'll finish this episode of Hillbilly Highlife with a quiz. Any of our readers who can tell which hearth is mine, and which is Martha's will win a nifty wrapping paper organizing spindle.  Mine, or Martha's?
Mine, or Martha's?


  1. The sack looks like a corset, and the propane tank looks like a sausage roll.

    Glad you survived the storm and Martha's propensity for making us all feel disorganized and uncreative. As for me, I am happy just to be throwing things out or giving them away.

  2. Can Chuck come fix our snow blower? Bing is driving me insane because she thinks she can fix anything and she usually breaks the things she tries to fix. Our last victim was the fridge (leak...leaks worse now) and she is currently pondering how to fix the snowblower (which has worked iffily from day one) before a storm comes. This happened last year and she did learn a lesson when she had to shovel our very, very long driveway.

  3. I reckon you can give Martha a run for her money!