Wednesday, February 20, 2013

My Son's Freakin' Potty Mouth

Nathan has a filthy mouth, and it's driving me up the fucking wall crazy!

Also, since taking Fifth Grade maturation class, he has a new view of himself as a sexual being.  Which of course, in playground vernacular is expressed as, "The girls are crazy about me, Mom.  I'm the hottest boy in my class.  I'm a ten-year-old LOVE MAN!

I kid you not.  He said that, then kissed his own biceps.

It's the swearing that I'm fed up with, though.  

I had to sit him down and tell him that every time I hear the words "shit", "damn" or "fuck", I am going to take his laptop away.  For one hour the first time, then two hours, etc... until he learns.  "Shit", "damn" or "fuck", alone or in combination with "mother" or "god", will bring down the wrath of mom and the loss of the laptop. 

"But, I can still say, 'Goll dangit', right?"

Yes, that's OK.

What about "flippin'"?  "Freakin'"?  "Sugar?"

[Sigh] I suppose.  I'm not a fan of those fake swear words, but they aren't worth fighting over.

He pondered this for a few minutes, and then brightened. 

"Well, at least I can still say 'cunt'." 


  1. Oh my GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    He's lucky you are a patient mom.

  2. I'm lucky. Liv hasn't tried to shock me yet. Maybe it's a boy thing. She did have an experience with a child in a Mommy and ME playgroup we used to attend. A child she had befriended pointed to her vagina and said, "I call this my gadget." Liv looked at me, rolled her eyes and said, "I call that silly. It's called your nirvana."

  3. I have 2 daughters 14 and 18 and they are both foul mouthed. I've given up trying to stop them, and I think have become a bit more prone to swear myself because of it.