Monday, March 28, 2011

T. M. I.

Too Much Information today.  Makes me feel the need to eat almond M&Ms. 

There.  Now they are gone, and can no longer torment me.

Why do people have to submit resumes that are pages long, and contain no relevant information? 

Here's one:  This guy has worked as a call center manager, a credit account manager, a Radio Shack manager and a twisty balloon entertainment guy.  He has no qualifications or experience in the field for which I am hiring. 

Or this other guy's cover letter says, "I love talking...when I saw this [posting] my heart skipped a beat...I know quite well that it may not be easy, but it will be worth it...".  Y'know, drama-applicant, it really WON'T be easy when you have no qualifications, have never taught, and have an experience history specializing in home security system sales and service.  And it won't be worth it to ME.

Furthermore, I love (I really do love) people calling school and confiding in me about the details of their lives.  This happens to me a lot for some reason.  

One woman called to find out more about volunteering with us and started off the conversation with, "You may not want me - I'm OLD!"  Hmmm... I probed that a little. She's only 66, for Pete's sake.  What she really meant was that she had a bilateral mastectomy and major chemo, which caused her to lose her hair and her teeth.  She is self-conscious about how she looks and seldom leaves the house. I told her (in so many words) that she needs to come down to Guadalupe right away. 

And one of the candidates for the job for which I am hiring called me up to make sure that I had received his resume.  He then started a RANT!  A full-blown RANT! about his experiences in the meat grinder of the Utah educational system.  I can't say that I disagree with him, but.. he went on for half an hour.  I thought, "If I hired him, would he EVER shut up and do his work?"

One incident about which I have insufficient information, though, is the alleged sighting of CB at the rec center today.  Very weird. 

I work out at pretty much the same time every day.  CB knows this.  A person seeking to avoid me (or seeking to break into my house and steal the stereo) knows that in the 9:00 AM-10:00 AM time frame, I am usually at the rec.  CB knows my truck.  I always park in about the same place.
So I just had time for a short run today.  I was in the rec from about 9:00 to about 9:30.  Then I put on my hoodie in the vestibule and went out.  I was starting to trot down the stairs, simultaneously messing about with my scarf, phone, swipe card, etc..., when a sudden movement  a short distance from the bottom of the stairs caught me eye - it was the movement of a man turning on his heel and heading back in the direction from which he came.  It caused me to glance up  just in time to see this person finish his about face and walk nonchalantly away, hands in his pockets.  I did not see his face; but CB has that identical hair, jacket, butt, pants and walk.  Since I was only 90% sure it was him; and since I'm not supposed to talk to him; and since he seemed to be very interested in avoiding me... I calmly walked back to my truck as if I had not a care in the world.  I did not drive off with a squealing of tires.  I took the time to remove my iPod, put my swipe card away, etc... (Look at me, CB!  Panic free!  I didn't even notice you.] As I dove away, I looked for his distinctive car, but didn't see it.  Of course, this mystery guy was probably parked in the other parking area, judging by the direction he headed. 

Soooo...  CB accidentally encountered me there and beat a hasty retreat?  NOT.  He must have known I was there.  My regular time, my regular vehicle. 

Uh... CB was on his way to work out, because he forgot it was my work-out time?  NOT.  No gym bag, no work out clothes.  Hard to exercise in a pair of Carhart work pants.

So he knew I was there.  Why was he coming inside?  Did he want to tell me something?  But he chickened out?  But didn't leave a note on my truck, as he has done in the past?  Why turn chicken when I walk out of the building, and not before?  What did he plan to do, that I foiled by leaving a bit early?  What on earth could he possibly have to say to me?  I mean, that I wold bother listening to?  And if it was so compelling that he came to the rec to confront me, why didn't he do it? 

Just when I was making a little progress. 

 Have the perfect solution to this riddle. It wasn't him.  It was some other guy who dresses in a similar manner, with about the same height, build and hair.  Mystery guy was walking into the rec to go for a run or something, but then remembered that he left his gym bag in his car and abruptly turned to retrieve it at the exact moment I left the rec. 


1 comment:

  1. Nah can't have been him. Must have been a dozy idiot who forgot his gym bag.