Sunday, May 29, 2011

Primal Scream

Actually, I'm not a screamer.  Sometimes I wish I were. 

Si says I am.  He is mad at me about the tone of voice I used on the phone tonight,  so he is refusing to talk with me about our banking matters.  I may have sounded strident, but I didn't mean to.  He and the kids were getting out of the soccer match in the pouring rain and I wanted to find them and pick them up.  I may have raised my voice just because of all the background noise at his end.  I apologized.

I slept for 6 hours last night.  Maybe even seven!  I am exhausted again, though.  And stressed.  As I was driving to pick up Si and the kids, I burst into tears.  Well, so I say;  but the fact is that  I haven't really cried (in the cleansing way that includes tears) much at all in months.  For the record?

I!
AM!
SCARED!
I am trying to think through what the source of the stress is.

Uh, Kate! You are getting a divorce.  It's stressful.

Specifically?
Love?
Kids?
Money?

Yeah, all of that.

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