It was a beautiful sunny day here in Salt Lake City. I should have been out running in it, but I had an unfortunate nap-attack. AGAIN! What is up with me?! Have I been bitten by a tse-tse fly? Sometimes, when I feel like making excuses, I tell myself that I am mentally tired from all the changes in my life,and that I am more tired from stress and single parenting than I would like to admit. Or maybe I have become unbelievably lazy! That is probably closer to the truth.
I'm sitting here listening to The Kinks on Radio Paradise. I should really send a message to my cousin Andrew on Facebook and thank him for posting the Radio Paradise link. This is my new music-expansion strategy.
My head aches a little because (this is embarrassing) I cried so copiously at the movie Warhorse today. Yes, Budget Babe actually took her kids to a new-release movie. I try to stick to my guns about only seeing movies once they get to the dollar theater; but Sara loved this book, and has been patiently waiting to see the film for months. I decided not to make her suffer. I HATE crying at movies. Especially schmaltzy, sentimental movies. I always feel like I have lost some sort of contest of wills. "They are just trying to manipulate my emotions! Steven Spielberg wants me to cry. Must! Not! Give! In!" Yet I do. I didn't cry when my father died, but I balled my head off at Charlotte's Web?!? (Sigh!) Go figure. Anyhow, I try to draw attention away from the fact that I have been crying by accusing others. Sara just shrugged and said it didn't make her cry much because she already knew the story. Nate denied at first, then said that he got a tiny bit of sugar from his Sour Patch Kids in his eyes and that made them water.
The best part of today was just the general feeling of well-being that I had while cooking supper. There was a voice mail from Chuck waiting for me after I got home from the movies. Just called to hear how the movie was; but his voice sounded so loving and sweet to me that I saved the message for my future listening pleasure. I got started on a new recipe: mushroom lasagna. It called for half a cup of white wine, so I went to the liquor store yesterday and found a bottle of Berringer Chenin Blanc on sale. Chenin Blanc and Vouvray are my two favorite white wines, and I have not had even a glass of white since I moved out of Swiss Oaks. I opened the bottle of Berringer and started cooking. Sara put on first Rusted Root, then ABBA (both excellent groups to cook/dance to, especially if you are also imbibing). The mushrooms smelled spectacular, sauteed with shallots and garlic. Chuck called and found my tipsiness amusing. Sara interrupted my conversation with him to ask whether he could come for dinner. I extended the invitation, but it was already kind of late and he had eaten. Tomorrow night. He told me that it made him feel happy that Sara asked for him. Sometimes, we get an hour of perfect grace. That was mine. Could it be that I am finally learning to live in the moment?
The worst part of today was disciplining Nate for saying "fuck". He said it yesterday while telling about something his teacher had done that made him mad. I took his Nintendo away for 24 hours. He hadn't had it back in his possession for two hours before he said "fuck" at Sara and I had to take it away from him again. Loud was the wailing, the door slamming, the "I hate you"s. I ignored this and started our evening read-aloud routine with Sara in my room. After a while, Sara went to get the AA Milne poetry books and made a few requests. While I was reading "King John's Christmas", I heard the kids' bedroom door opening. As I continued reading, I heard him creeping closer and closer, then requesting a poem as if he hadn't been screaming at me 20 minutes earlier. Ah, well. That's how he rolls.
I will end this very unfocused vignette with a question from Plinky:
What do you wish you spent more time doing?
Wow. For me, that's huge.
- Hanging out with people, having fun conversations. With some Chenin Blanc. And mushroom lasagna. I can't wait to make it again.
6. Read more blogs and communicate more with my blog-buddies.
Wanna post in the comment section about things you wish you spent more time doing? Share please.