Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Blood and Drama

Oof.  What a day this has been!  I was incredibly busy from start to finish; often with hysterical people, querulous people, people piled three deep, all asking questions at once.  "Wait a sec.  How many problems do we have here? Do you two people have two separate problems, or are you sharing a problem?"  Do I attract this? Why, yes, I do.

I opened my truck door in the parking lot today just as fourth-grade Tejawna bit the dust on the playground.  Bit the asphalt, actually.  Mmmmm.  One of those wipe-outs where the victim was going full tilt?  Hands and knees...  She sat up screaming with her hands were so scraped that she had paint from the four-square embedded in there.  Blood running down her leg into her sock.  You know. 

I was headed into the building anyway, so I told the playground monitors that I would clean her up.  I kind of like playing doctor.  We went into the girls' room and loud was the screaming, especially cleaning up her hands.  Hell, YEAH!  If it had been me, I would've cried, too!  Road rash is the worst!  Except a burn, maybe.  So, I was clucking and commiserating.  The elementary teachers clean up a lot more owies than I do, though.  They were like, "C'mon, Tejawna.  You're fine.  Hurry up, you're missing lunch."  Aw, you guys:  have a heart. Poor little kiddo...  Later in the staff room, they were talking about how Tejawna was milking it.  I thought, "So would you be." 

That little drama queen had my sympathies.

Not so much for Adi M., my evening drama queen.  She needs to give it a rest, already.  I have to hear a new Adi hissie 'bout every other week.  [sung, in a "la-la" tone of voice] She's CRA-zy.  I hope it's not CATCH-ing. 

I was in the copy room when I heard a kerfuffle in the cafeteria across the hall, then one of the teachers came in and said, "I need to find the mom of one of the babysitting kids."  "Which kid?"  "I don't know his name. Come and look."  I went to the cafeteria to find Rosa, the head babysitter, with Adi's 3 year-old son, Alex.  Big, gushing nose bleed.  "OK.  That's Adi's son, so go find Adi, please.  Rosa, do we need ice?"  Someone appeared with ice.  But right about then the nosebleed stopped.  You know how they are.  Adi arrived to find that he was pretty much done. 

Now is it just me?  Nosebleeds are NO BIG DEAL. Personally, I have never had one.  Never.  Really.  But my kids get them all the time.  Sara gets huge ones that drip a trail from her bedroom to the bathroom.  They don't hurt.  Kids don't seen that freaked by them.  So, we wiped up Alex's face and I took a little look up his nose to see if there was more to come.  Nope.  Adi picked him up.  [In Spanish]  "Oh, my little darling!  What happened, are you all right?  What happened to him!?"  Clearly, her little prince had almost bled to death.  To Death!  Rosa explained that he bumped his nose slightly on the playground.  Adi fondled the bridge of his nose while Alex fidgeted.  "Maybe there's something wrong there.  Maybe we should see a doctor."  "You know, Adi," I said, "Some kids just get nosebleeds sometimes.  My son gets them if he cries.  My daughter gets them if she sneezes."  "But, Darling, how do you feel?  Do you need a transfusion?  Are you OK?"  Rosa asked him in Spanish if he was ready to go play again, and of course he trotted away without a backward glance.

But, at the end of class, there was Rosa, waiting for me.  "I need talk to you!  Is very important!  About that crazy woman!"  [Back to Spanish]  "When Adi picked up Alex at the end of class, she said to me, 'How could you let this happen!?  Why was I not brought in immediately!?  I'm taking Alex to see a doctor and I'm SENDING YOU THE BILL!!!'"  Hoo-kay.  I'm done.  She lost me at the threats.  I'm banning her from the childcare before Rosa gives HER a bloody nose.


  1. Oh what fun. I'd like to be a fly on your wall. Just don't swat me, k?

    We get nosebleeds that leave the room looking like a crime scene.